Are you having communication issues with your teen? If you are, you're not alone. Lets look at a list of reasons why your teen may not be communicating with you?
Reason #1 – They don’t want to overwhelm or worry you. Teens can be very intuitive, even when it seems like they aren’t paying attention, and know when you’re already at your limit. They don’t want to add anything else to your plate, so they keep things inside or act them out in harmful ways.
Reason #2 – They don’t want you to fix it. When your child was in elementary school, maybe it was okay for you to talk to their teacher or friend’s parent. Now that they’re in high school, no way! Not only do they think you can’t fix it, but they don’t want you fighting their battles.
Reason #3 – They don’t want you to get mad. Teens know what kind of behavior you won’t tolerate, and they don’t want to be the ones to tell you they did something you won’t like or agree with.
So what can you do to help? Here are some ideas:
LISTEN – “Sometimes we need someone to simply be there. Not to fix or do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported” unknown.
PRAY – You may not know how to get through to your teen, but God does. He know how to speak their language and give you wisdom to do the same.
EMPATHY – try to bridge the understanding gap, put yourselves in their shoes, and see why they may have acted a certain way.
One thing that remains true is the rules and aspects of dating are ever changing. What doesn't change is that these first interactions can shape a teen's relational perspective for the rest of their life. Whatever your position is on teen dating, here are some moderns truths to help you understand your teens as they navigate and explore the idea of dating.
1. Teens have greater communication challenges than before.
Today's teens spend a lot of time texting and posting to potential love interests on social media. For some, that can make dating easier because they may get to know one another better online first. For most though, it can make personal interactions even more awkward. Teens who tend to be shy, meeting in person can be much more difficult.
2. Teens Whose Parents Talk to Them Are Better Prepared
It's important to talk to your teen about a variety of topics, like your personal values. Be open with your teen about everything from treating someone else with respect to your values about sex. They need to know your point of view on these topics or they will just fill in the blanks.
3. Your teen knows more thank you think.
We live in an age where near infinite information is at our fingertips. The sad truth is most of their information comes from the internet or their peers. Having conversations about sex and relationships with your teen is crucial to counteract the information they receive from elsewhere. However, assuming that they aren't in the know can be a mistake if you want to help guide them to make the right decisions and avoid dangers.
To learn more go to https://www.verywellfamily.com/five-truths-teens-and-dating-2611146
To be successful at anything requires goal setting. For this reason, when the new year rolls around we set goals and resolutions for all sorts of reasons hoping to have a better year than the one before. However, how many of us set resolutions for our families? Every day you have to have a strong resolve to manage the ups and downs of your family life. Applying that strong resolve to family goals will help us have something to aim for in building a stronger family unit.
Here are a few simple family resolutions ideas.
Resolution No. 1: Have dinner as a family:
This change requires intentional planning. You'll have to turn down activities that would keep you away from home at dinnertime. However, the lasting impact this simple act has is well worth it. Here is when healthy emotional memories can be formed that your family will always have
Resolution No. 2: Offer grace in frustrating moments:
Look for the opportunities to give all the love and grace your teen needs at the moment. When the incident fades a bit, then talk a little about how we can learn from mistakes and bad choices.
Resolution No. 3: Pray for your teen daily:
This seems simple but often times can be forgotten. Praying for your teen is how we stay in touch with God and gain His wisdom in dealing with the hard and frustrating issues. Calling their names out in prayer every day is truly the best thing we can do for them as parents.
These are just a few small resolutions that can radically impact your family dynamic for the better. What resolutions can you make? Resolve to make goals for your family this year and you'll see the positive changes you've been looking for.
For more family resolution ideas, check out this article:
Parents and kids have the ability to trigger each other as no one else can.It takes a lot of self-control not to just let out our anger – to react before thinking…to lash out. Do you know why?
If our brain perceives a threat, it signals the amygdala, body's “alarm" system, which tells our body to act without thinking. The amygdala responds to situations with the fight, flight, freeze response. In everyday parenting, our stress response often gets triggered unnecessarily by events that are not actually life threatening. Our bodies are reacting to our kid spilling cereal all over the floor in the same way we would react if we were being chased by a bear.
However, If we choose to be more mindful by pressing the pause button, we can teach kids they too can pause and choose to respond instead of react.
What does mindfulness mean in parenting?
Mindful parenting means that you bring your conscious attention to what's happening, instead of getting hijacked by your emotions. Mindful parenting does not mean being a “perfect parent" and is not something you can fail at. It is not easy and it takes practice, but like many aspects of parenting, some days are good and some are bad and you can always try again. You may forget to be mindful, but the second you realize you are distracted, it is an opportunity to make a different choice—the choice to respond and not react. This does not mean that you will not get angry or upset. Of course you will feel negative emotions, but acting on them mindlessly is what compromises our parenting. Practicing mindfulness allows us to model what having a Christ centered life looks like more than anything we can say to them.
Remember, you are their role model for how to handle situations when THEY are triggered. As you practice this with them, they will learn more creative ways to handle their anger and other big feelings.Even when you’re committed to responding instead of reacting and not yelling, there will still be times when you yell, roll your eyes, have tone, be critical, or act in some way that you aren’t so proud of. And that’s part of being human…we are imperfect and your kids are imperfect. But God is always growing and maturing us.Remember, after you react, make sure you repair trust. The good news is that struggle builds resilience. So you can let go of some of the guilt and focus on the repair and reconnection!
Somewhere between hovering and abandonment; between nagging and silence.
These are the relational poles between which many parents try to position themselves with teenagers on the road toward adulthood. We know we shouldn’t hover, helicopter, or bulldoze the path for our maturing kids. We also know our kids need more than a clean cut, cold shoulder, or radio silence. The metaphors alone are enough to suggest perhaps we need better language for talking about our relationships.
Language is hard to come by when much of our daily communication is driven by text, or by brief conversations about logistics. It can be even more challenging for families navigating generational linguistic and cultural divides, financial uncertainty, or histories of poor relational dynamics.
Whatever your parenting reality, chances are good you could use more insight about what young people need from the adults around them as they navigate emerging adulthood’s transitions.
Content pulled from FullerYouthInstitute.org. Click here to continue reading and to download Preparing to Launch - ten ways to have better conversations with your teenager about the future.