When your high schooler was in middle school, there’s a good chance their biggest motivator was acceptance. They moved in a herd, made decisions as a group, and desperately wanted to fit in. While some of that is still true, your high schooler is changing and before long, his or her biggest motivator will be something new, something that may make you a little nervous, something you may even be tempted to resist: Freedom
That’s why one of the most important things we can do is MOBILIZE THEIR POTENTIAL. In other words, we want to give them something to do, not just a list of things to stay away from. We want to give them opportunities to collaborate with the family, serve the community and discover how God has uniquely wired them to influence the world around them.
One of the best places for your ninth grader to find support a this age is in a church small group. Engaging in a group with similar values and a trusted adult in the mix is always a great way for a ninth grader to find a place to belong. So get to know their small group leader, invite the group over for an outing or a movie night and make it a priority to show up every week and, so those relationships can grow deeper this year.
The thing to remember most about this year is that they still need you. No one has more influence on their spiritual lives than their parents and no one knows their story better than a parent. They need mom and dad even if they pretend like they don’t.
Read more at: https://theparentcue.org/what-to-expect-in-ninth-grade/
Now that your child is older, you might find you clash more often. It’s normal for you to disagree, but it’s also important to find ways of dealing with conflict. When we use conflict management strategies, we can help our teens to learn these important life skills too. Conflict can be our greatest teacher for both the teen and parent. Asking yourself what we can learn from this conflict will result in growth.
Here are some tips:
When getting ready to enter a conflict
Conflict with our teens is a part of life. But how we view and manage it can be the difference between broken relationships to growing ones.
Are you having communication issues with your teen? If you are, you're not alone. Lets look at a list of reasons why your teen may not be communicating with you?
Reason #1 – They don’t want to overwhelm or worry you. Teens can be very intuitive, even when it seems like they aren’t paying attention, and know when you’re already at your limit. They don’t want to add anything else to your plate, so they keep things inside or act them out in harmful ways.
Reason #2 – They don’t want you to fix it. When your child was in elementary school, maybe it was okay for you to talk to their teacher or friend’s parent. Now that they’re in high school, no way! Not only do they think you can’t fix it, but they don’t want you fighting their battles.
Reason #3 – They don’t want you to get mad. Teens know what kind of behavior you won’t tolerate, and they don’t want to be the ones to tell you they did something you won’t like or agree with.
So what can you do to help? Here are some ideas:
LISTEN – “Sometimes we need someone to simply be there. Not to fix or do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported” unknown.
PRAY – You may not know how to get through to your teen, but God does. He know how to speak their language and give you wisdom to do the same.
EMPATHY – try to bridge the understanding gap, put yourselves in their shoes, and see why they may have acted a certain way.
One thing that remains true is the rules and aspects of dating are ever changing. What doesn't change is that these first interactions can shape a teen's relational perspective for the rest of their life. Whatever your position is on teen dating, here are some moderns truths to help you understand your teens as they navigate and explore the idea of dating.
1. Teens have greater communication challenges than before.
Today's teens spend a lot of time texting and posting to potential love interests on social media. For some, that can make dating easier because they may get to know one another better online first. For most though, it can make personal interactions even more awkward. Teens who tend to be shy, meeting in person can be much more difficult.
2. Teens Whose Parents Talk to Them Are Better Prepared
It's important to talk to your teen about a variety of topics, like your personal values. Be open with your teen about everything from treating someone else with respect to your values about sex. They need to know your point of view on these topics or they will just fill in the blanks.
3. Your teen knows more thank you think.
We live in an age where near infinite information is at our fingertips. The sad truth is most of their information comes from the internet or their peers. Having conversations about sex and relationships with your teen is crucial to counteract the information they receive from elsewhere. However, assuming that they aren't in the know can be a mistake if you want to help guide them to make the right decisions and avoid dangers.
To learn more go to https://www.verywellfamily.com/five-truths-teens-and-dating-2611146
To be successful at anything requires goal setting. For this reason, when the new year rolls around we set goals and resolutions for all sorts of reasons hoping to have a better year than the one before. However, how many of us set resolutions for our families? Every day you have to have a strong resolve to manage the ups and downs of your family life. Applying that strong resolve to family goals will help us have something to aim for in building a stronger family unit.
Here are a few simple family resolutions ideas.
Resolution No. 1: Have dinner as a family:
This change requires intentional planning. You'll have to turn down activities that would keep you away from home at dinnertime. However, the lasting impact this simple act has is well worth it. Here is when healthy emotional memories can be formed that your family will always have
Resolution No. 2: Offer grace in frustrating moments:
Look for the opportunities to give all the love and grace your teen needs at the moment. When the incident fades a bit, then talk a little about how we can learn from mistakes and bad choices.
Resolution No. 3: Pray for your teen daily:
This seems simple but often times can be forgotten. Praying for your teen is how we stay in touch with God and gain His wisdom in dealing with the hard and frustrating issues. Calling their names out in prayer every day is truly the best thing we can do for them as parents.
These are just a few small resolutions that can radically impact your family dynamic for the better. What resolutions can you make? Resolve to make goals for your family this year and you'll see the positive changes you've been looking for.
For more family resolution ideas, check out this article: